


Live From New York, It's Saturday Night!

by BreePosens



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Saturday Night Live - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 06:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5818363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreePosens/pseuds/BreePosens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Was she discussing a song about having sex on a twin bed, or was it a song about teachers on a snow day? Either way, Beca's breath hitched, Lorne hadn't said anything about this new featured player.</p><p>The SNL/Weekend Update AU that no one asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Studio 8H Is Calling

**Author's Note:**

> I rewrote this since I didn't like how the original chapter played out. Also, some of the characters (Aubrey) will be stretched a little (i.e. less uptight) because how would they (Aubrey) even get onto SNL as an uptight person?
> 
> Also, here's a little guide.
> 
> Kate McKinnon is sort of channeled in both Beca and Aubrey, with Beca getting the laid back sense and Aubrey receiving some of McKinnon's impression ability.
> 
> Either way, I need to see Anna Kendrick, Brittany Snow and Anna Camp all host SNL together.

_**Live From New York** _

_01: Studio 8H Is Calling_

* * *

" _What a perfect day for a picnic, it's so nice out."_ Chloe jumped over the back of her couch, placing the newly opened ice cream tub on the coffee table. She handed one of the two spoons to Stacie, her housemate since college, and stuck her spoon in the cookie dough goodness.

"It's the final show before summer." Stacie noted as the sound of the audience's laughs entered the apartment through the speakers. "Two months and we have our auditions."

Chloe nodded silently as she swallowed the ice cream, eyes glued on the four people on screen - Emily Junk, Jesse Swanson, Bumper Allen and Fat Amy. This was the final cold open before their audition, before she may finally be on Saturday Night Live.

" _I'm just, I'm so happy it's finally that time of year again - you know what I mean."_ Both women held on to each and every word as they fell from Emily's mouth, the brunette their third favourite cast member. _"The breeze on the trees and the sun on my knees, it can only mean one little thing._ " Chloe's smile became even wider as the piano began playing.

" _It's summer, I can't believe it's finally summer!"_ All four cast members began singing, the cheesy beach backdrop adding to their cheeriness. _"No worries or cares, no need for long prayers; it's summer, summertime!"_ Chloe watched as Stacie opened Twitter on her phone, scrolling through their favourite hashtag: #SNLlive. _"It's summer! I'm so happy that it's summer! No more days spent inside, it's time to unwind; it's summer, summertime!"_

"It's a Hillary Clinton sketch!" Stacie blurted out, her arms raised in happiness at SNL's cryptic tweet. "Hillary Clinton!"

Chloe glanced at Stacie, the redhead snorting when her best friend's eyes glazed over at the sight of 'Hillary Clinton' walking towards the table. " _Hello."_ Stacie's incessant bouncing was beginning to drive Chloe mildly insane - the brunette had made her infatuation with Aubrey Posen clear from the blonde's first appearance on the show, three years prior. _"Can I have just a moment of your summer please? I'm Hillary Clinton, and I'm running for President of these United States."_

Stacie watched, smiling like an idiot at the TV screen. "I'd vote her for President." Chloe continued eating her ice cream, eyes glancing at Stacie every so often.

Bumper frowned on the screen. _"But that's not for a really long time. It's summer vacation!"_

" _I haven't had a vacation since 1953; I played hopscotch with a friend. I found it tedious."_ Chloe couldn't help but laugh; the shows writers were absolutely genius. _"Why hop when you can march - straight to the White House."_

"Oh my God, this is brilliant." Chloe went back for another spoon of ice cream, they were barely a minute and a half into the show.

Emily rest her head on Jesse's shoulder, _"this summer, I'm going to a waterpark."_

" _I'm going to Spain."_ Fat Amy added.

Stacie was practically drooling at the site of the blonde comedian. _"Well, I'm going to a fertiliser plant to tell immigrants about the American Dream._ " Chloe giggled as Jesse wiped his mouth, hiding a laugh. The lead male composed himself quickly enough to join in with the other four people in singing, _"It's summer, summertime!"_

The shot cut to a man and two women holding surfboards. Beca Mitchell, Benji Applebaum and Cynthia Rose Adams all donned wetsuits. Chloe's breath hitched. _"The ocean looks great, the waves are totally righteous."_ Beca noted, before all three broke into the song too.

" _It's summer! The ocean's always perfect in the summer."_ Chloe and Stacie began to nod their heads along with the music. _"The sea in my face, let's go catch those waves it's summer, summertime!"_

"Imagine watching your sketch put up on air, the one you've written." Stacie mentioned. "It must be amazing."

" _Hello 18 to 25 year olds."_ The laughs coming from the studio audience must have been so rewarding, Chloe thought to herself. _"How's it hanging?"_ The three surfers looked confused as Aubrey leaned against one of the boards awkwardly, more roars of laughter coming from the audience. _"I do love summer. Here's a fun fact about summer: this is Bernie Sander's 73rd one."_ The blonde's awkward laugh caused both Chloe and Stacie to chuckle.

"I'm going to marry her someday." Stacie proclaimed, snapping a picture of their snack-laden coffee table and posting it to instagram with the caption: 'It's summer, summertime!'. "Just you watch, Beale."

Beca, Benji and Cynthia Rose all exchanged looks. _"I guess the whole 'old age' narrative is his thing now. Will you kids help me spread that?"_

Benji pointed to his left. _"We're about to hit the waves, if you don't mind."_

"He's so adorable, he had a good first season." Chloe smiled as she continued watching. "Imagine if we'd got on that young."

"I know right, but imagine being on the show at 19!"

" _That's cool."_ Cynthia Rose continued giving 'Hillary' an odd look. _"Y'know, in two years, I'll be 69 - Bill told me to tell that to the young demographic."_ The clapping from the TV made Chloe wish they were watching from Studio 8H.

" _Right,"_ Beca said awkwardly, invoking more laughter. _"Well, I can hear the waves calling my name._ "

" _And I can hear the screams of a dying middle class."_ As the music started up again, Stacie began singing along. _"It's summer, summertime!"_

"Brilliant." Stacie applauded. "Absolutely brilliant." The shot cut once more, moving to two people on a tandem bike - who Stacie and Chloe could easily identify as Ashley and Luke.

" _I hope it never ends, summer I mean."_ Chloe could still remember when Ashley and Luke were both quiet and shy when they first arrived, but the rest of the cast had managed to break them out of their shells. _"It's summer, hip hooray it's finally summer. With nothing to do, it's just me and you it's summer-"_

The music was brought to an abrupt halt as Aubrey began running alongside the tandem bike, causing both Stacie and Chloe to let all their pent up laughter out.

" _Hello, I'm Hillary Clinton."_ The blonde's over the top running caused a small smile to paste itself upon 's face. _"I love that tandem bike, if you elect me, I promise to work in_ _ **tandem**_ _with congress."_

Ashley frowned. _"You're running on the beach in a wool suit, aren't you hot?"_

" _I am hot-"_ Chloe took the final piece of cookie dough from the ice cream tub - 4 minutes, new record. _"- for America! I will run until I meet every voter alive, and then this November, I will collect my reward."_

Luke leaned forward on the bike. _"Well the election's next November, you have another year of this."_

" _No. No, no, no, no no!"_ Aubrey ran off the front of the scene.

Ashley and continued on merrily. _"It's summer, summertime!"_

Stacie shook her head. "I would pay $10,000 for that wool jacket." Chloe giggled as the shot moved once more to Jessica and Lily, the duo sitting on the sand with a small sand castle in front of them.

" _I love our sandcastle, it's got a moat and everything!"_ Jessica's outfit reflected that of a young child, her hair in pigtails. _"It's summer, oh boy I'm glad it's finally summer! No homework or school, no teachers or rules; it's summer, summertime!"_

Aubrey knelt down beside Jessica. _"I love your sandcastle!"_

Jessica's smile was wide, mimicking that of any young child. _"Thank you, it's our dream house."_

Aubrey nodded. _"How neat, this is my dream house._ " The shot panned around to show a sand model of The White House, causing Stacie and Chloe's laughter to continue. _"Why don't you tell your parents to vote for me, Hillary Clinton?"_

" _They don't like you._ " Lily answered simply, looking at the sandcastle. _"They say you're unrelatable."_

Aubrey stood up, walking from the sand White House and over to the smaller sandcastle. _"What a fun thing that I have heard everyday for the past 20 years."_ The blonde stepped on the sandcastle as the music picked back up again. _"It's summer, summertime!"_

The shot then cut back to the picnic table, where the entire cast walked on. _"It's summer! Everybody sing 'cause it's summer. Got nothing on me, vote for Hillary; it's summer, summertime! And live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"_

"Two months Stacie," Chloe whispered, "two months to go."

* * *

"Welcome to Studio 8H, your auditions are at four thirty and five respectively." Chloe glanced at Stacie, the entire prospect of being on SNL looking extremely scary. "Just a word of advice, Lorne won't laugh. Don't let it put you off." Chloe swallowed, "don't be scared, and pull out your best characters, you'll be fine. Just avoid Hillary Clinton, Penelope Cruz and Jane Lynch, we have so many of those they're all the same. Before last season, someone said, 'I'd be a much better Clinton than Aubrey Posen'. Lorne kicked them out so fast, oh God."

Stacie swallowed. "We'll keep that in mind, thanks."

The stagehand smiled, "hair and makeup is up the stairs, don't be worried."

Chloe ended up pacing back and forth for an hour before her audition. Stacie had been on the stage for the best part of ten minutes, and now she was worried that her friend may never come back. She'd heard some laughter from the show's head writer Rob Klein, and she figured that was as close to laughter from Lorne Michaels as either of them would get.

She could hear Stacie's final impression through the speakers. "Drink Pepsi." Chloe smiled, Stacie's impression of Sofia Vergara was not half bad. "Hey look, I just make one billion moneys!"

Chloe began wringing her hands as Stacie walked back off the stage. "Good job, Stace. Great job." Chloe pulled the brunette into a hug. "Wish me luck."

"You'll be great, promise."

Chloe walked onto the historical stage, following the stagehand from earlier. She looked into the audience, tilting her head at the sight of many of the heads sitting right at the back. "Hi, I can't do my act without you being down here, get your asses here right now." Her fake Boston accent being one she'd stripped from Temple Grandin at one point or another. "Y'know, I think that we don't do enough for animals on this show, Mr. Michaels, Lorney boy."

She walked off the stage five minutes later, shaking her head at the shakey impressions. Stacie immediately engulfed her in a hug, "you were awesome!"

"I demanded Lorne sit in the front row, who the fuck does that?"

Stacie sighed, Chloe wasn't a cusser. In all honesty, the brunette didn't think Chloe's audition was all that bad, and she could always submit some accidental screen tests and stand up sessions. It would be fine, she reasoned, and if she got in without Chloe, she'd push it back a year.

* * *

"They'll only pick one of us." Chloe was still pacing up and down the small corridor outside Lorne's office, the small room more intimidating than the stage they'd auditioned on a fortnight ago. "They won't have us both; they have so many female cast members already."

"Hey, Chloe, thanks for waiting." Lorne smiled from the doorway. "Good to see you again Stacie." Chloe quickly followed the show's creator into the office. "Sorry for the wait, three hours is nothing; Beca and Aubrey were out there for ten." Chloe slowly sat down on the chair, her eyes moving around the four walls. Her eyes fell on a fish tank in the corner as Lorne began talking about various technicalities of the show.

After ten minutes of low key conversation with Lorne and an SNL producer, Chloe was finally asked about herself. "I'm from Florida…" Well done Chloe, she thought, congrats.

"Well that went awfully." Chloe noted as she and Stacie walked back towards their tiny apartment. "My only words, 'I'm from Florida'. How the hell will I get on the show when they think I'm as boring as an actual circle of cheese."

Stacie sighed, if only she knew.

* * *

Her phone was forever displaying the time, the phone was cross checked with the date she'd found online. She wanted to turn the damn thing off, roll over, ignore the fact she wouldn't actually get the job. Her audition was awful by her usual standards; shaky voice, off impressions - the sight of the people who could change her life turned her into a bundle of nerves and a bad Emma Stone voice.

Maybe she would just celebrate sarcastically. After all, she promised that this would be her last shot - if they didn't want her the first time, why would they want her the second? She promised herself that if she wasn't able to make the cast this time, she'd agreed on going back to college and study something more… practical. What was the point in her acting if she wasn't able to do it on the one stage that mattered? She'd promised her parents that she'd restart again at the age of twenty-three, that 1200 miles wasn't worth it if she didn't get there young enough.

The thought of two of the main cast members starting at age 19 made her sob.

The dull ringing of her phone was too far away from her thoughts as she looked around her small living room, the place she'd hidden away in and watched the comedic greats in with Stacie since their freshman year of college. The repetitive ringtone almost made her want to press the 'decline' button on her phone.

Begrudgingly, she picked up the Apple product and looked at her laptop as she answered, bold typeface jutting out on the laptop screen: _**The final day to get a call from NBC for SNL hopefuls.**_ "Hello?" She sounded rude, Chloe knew that, but she could've missed the call which kick-started her entire career. However, she didn't get the chance to apologise when the woman on the opposite end of the line said her name in an air of professional urgency. "This is her, can I ask why you're calling?"

"I'm calling from NBC studios in New York City for Mr. Lorne Michaels to inform you that you should arrive for rehearsals at precisely 8AM this upcoming Monday. Your absence or tardiness will be inferred as a rejection of this opportunity. Please come in through the Rockefeller Plaza entrance. Someone will be waiting in the lobby by the elevators to take you up to Studio 8H. Have a nice night, Ms. Beale."

Stacie walked into the apartment as Chloe was staring at her phone. The redhead looked up at the sound of Stacie's coat dropping to the ground. "And live from New York, it's us on Saturday Night!"

The rest of their evening was spent was sketches and eating ice cream.

Chloe smiled as she stared at the ceiling.

She did it.

_She was a featured player on Saturday Night Live._


	2. The First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe and Stacie have their first day, and Chloe meets her idols personally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this universe, SNL started in 1976, so the big 40 year bash is in 2016. The first episode is on October 3rd, 2015.
> 
> I only updated this quickly due to being off school sick. So, sorry for future chapters.

 

_**Live From New York, It's Saturday Night!** _

_02: The First Day_

* * *

Chloe finally closed her notebook, just as they were reaching their subway stop. Stacie had recommended she collect together her best sketch ideas just incase there was a slot in which they could have some input in the creative process. They'd been to Rockefeller Plaza twice before, but this time it was most definitely different.

They were on the show now.

Beca tapped her pen against her upper lip as she wrote a rough draft of a potential sketch in her notebook. Her seat on the windowsill was always covered in cushions - one for her, one for Aubrey, and one for Emily. Three skinny bitches on a windowsill waiting to be knocked up, Fat Amy would proclaim every Monday morning when she arrived (often three minutes late with Bumper in tow).

"Let's do it on my twin bed." Beca looked to her left, gently tapping out a rhythm with her pen. They were unorthodox, definitely. "Not gonna like it." Emily continued scribbling down the lyrics as they came out of her mouth. "But it's the only option where we can get it poppin'. Let's do it on my twin bed, pop and fall off it. But let's get wild, in a bed for a child."

Beca looked at Emily's notebook, "more of a Christmas Holiday's song don't you think?"

"I agree." Emily flipped the page over, "we can keep it until then though. Who's the guest this week, I forgot?"

"Reese Witherspoon." Aubrey supplied as she walked through the door of Lorne's office, a Starbucks take away cardboard drink holder in hand. "We're apologising to our mothers on air - her idea." A few minutes later, and the small room was beginning to fill up; Lorne was at his desk, Beca, Emily and Aubrey were on their windowsill, Fat Amy and Bumper were sharing a bean bag and Jesse was perched on the edge of Lorne's desk.

Chloe practically sprinted up the stairs to Lorne's office, only peering into the office with Stacie as the clock reached five past eight. She glanced back at Stacie when no one reacted to their sudden presence, silently worrying that they'd already been fired.

"Well, Donald Trump is still high up in the polls, so what if we have Ann Romney saying 'you wish y'all had Mitt now'." Fat Amy suggested. "I still want to do Dyke and Fats." Chloe furrowed her eyebrows - _what_? "Beca can be Officer Les Dykawitz, and I can be Patricia Eatsome."

Lorne nodded. "I like it. Any ideas for sketches with Reese in them?"

"Inner White Girl!" Cynthia Rose offered. "About a woman whose inner white girl gets her through life."

Chloe cleared her throat, "what about for the cold open, you have Hillary Clinton in a bar with our Hillary Clinton." Silence went through Lorne's office at the redhead's words. "Oh, I'm Chloe, one of the new featured players."

Lorne nodded. "Get that written for Wednesday, I like it."

Chloe nodded as people began leaving the room. "I will do Mr. Michaels, promise."

"Chloe, honestly, call me Lorne."

* * *

Emily smiled as she led Chloe into the room the cast used when they had to write their sketches. "Here we are, you'll share a desk with Jessica and Ashley, but don't worry about lying on the floor or anything - we've all done it at some point. Beca and Aubrey are each writing a sketch too, so feel free to ask them anything. Have a good first week!"

Chloe slid into the chair and put her notebook down onto the desk, how fun would this be?

Stacie sat on the edge of the desk. "Chloe, you'll be fine, honestly."

"How am I supposed to write Hillary Clinton in a bar when I don't even have a premise for it?" Chloe sighed, leaning back in the chair and having a small heart attack when it reclined. "Shit." Tuesday was already going to be a long day, she decided. A long day of writing and pizza.

By the time Chloe was in the middle of her third draft, Beca and Aubrey entered the small room, each taking a seat at one of the other desks. "You need some help?" Chloe looked up from her laptop. "First sketch is the hardest, trust me, especially when it has a guest - or a political candidate." Chloe smiled slightly at Beca's words, the brunette opening her own laptop and getting to work. "They're reusing some of last season's good sketches that didn't quite make the cut, but Lorne really wants yours to be the cold open."

"No pressure then." Chloe murmured.

"Seriously Beca, you're scaring her." Aubrey cut in, elbowing her friend in the ribs. "Look, Chloe, if you need help, we can offer it. I'm pretty much done with a section of Weekend Update, and I'm sure Beca isn't having problems with a two minute sketch about police officers."

Chloe smiled gratefully. "You guys honestly don't have to help."

"When you're a Democrat, you get to eat dinner with Beyoncé." Beca chuckled at the blonde's pronunciation when she laid her southern accent on thickly. "When you're a Republican, you have to vote for Donald  _'my net worth is many times Mitt Romney's'_ Trump! I bet y'all are wishing Mitt would run again."

Chloe giggled at the insert Aubrey had placed between Donald and Trump. "You wrote that?"

"Together we did, yeah." Beca confirmed, putting a headphone in. "This will be a good start to the new season I hope." She looked up at Chloe, "welcome to Saturday Night Live, it just gets crazy from here on out."

Chloe hummed in response. "So, a background character says something along the lines of; 'I love that Donald Trump guy' and someone else says 'nah, I like Ben Carson'. Then you cut to you, Aubrey, putting down a cup and sighing. That's where I'm at."

"Why won't the people let me lead? Just give me the hammer and the nails and let me fix it _**all**_!" Chloe smiled and wrote Aubrey's words down, maybe this wouldn't be too hard.

Chloe ended up spending until one a.m. in that room with Beca and Aubrey, the trio eventually rushing the ending by having the real Hillary and Aubrey breaking character to introduce show. Chloe submitted it to Lorne, and they bid each other a fond farewell.

Within their time together, Chloe had gathered several facts about the two stars of the show. They had met in high school, and they'd always watch the show together with Aubrey's parents (the blonde's mother was SNL alumnae). When they were 18, instead of going to college they moved out to New York from Atlanta, with some of their stand up getting noticed by one of SNL's scouts.

By the age of 19 they'd made it to SNL, with Beca mainly staying behind the scenes with writing as well as dabbling as a featured player.

* * *

Stacie groaned as Chloe opened her bedroom door at six a.m. "No, it's way too early."

"Um, Stacie, some of us actually only went to sleep at one." Chloe threw a pillow at her best friend. "Aubrey, Beca and I got pizza."

Stacie sat bolt upright straight away. "You had pizza with Aubrey Posen and you didn't think to tell me?"

"And I'm in a sketch with her." Chloe winked. "You are too, but whatever. We're recording it tomorrow." She walked towards the kitchen. "It's table read day, Stacie!"

Stacie swung her legs over the side of her bed, "you seem drunk, they didn't take you out did they?"

"They showed me how to get my creative juices flowing, we did drunken impressions after we finished." Chloe popped an aspirin capsule into her mouth, washing it down with a glass of water. "Either way, I'm so excited!"

* * *

Emily was channeling Chloe's excitement as the Repertory Player took her seat beside the redhead. "Morning, I heard your writing session with Beca and Bree went well!" Chloe raised an eyebrow, was nothing a secret in this cast? "Lorne secured Clinton, so it looks like you've written your first Cold Open."

Chloe froze as Stacie shook her arm. "Chlo! Oh my God!" Chloe stared at the pile of paper in front of her, _Season 40, Episode 1: Reese Witherspoon_ pasted on the front. Chloe tenderly opened the front page, eyes widening at the sight of the bold typeface; _**Hillary Bar Talk Cold Open - Written by Chloe Beale**_. "Congrats Chloe!"

The duo's celebration was cut off by Lorne walking into the room, silence falling over the group of comedians. "Right guys, let's get this done. We have thirty seven sketches to get through."

Chloe looked down the table, mouthing a silent 'thank you' to Beca and Aubrey, the former winking and mouthing back, 'it was all you, Beale'. Chloe couldn't help but beam as the scene played out, hers and Stacie's two small lines would become their first on Saturday Night Live, the first of hopefully an amazing time to come.

The remainder of the read through goes without a hitch, with Chloe and Stacie occasionally adding in a joke here and there. Some of which some of the other featured players rolled their eyes at, but others that the writing team seemed to find entertaining, some being jotted down.

When the final page was turned over, Lorne dished out scripts to the Repertory Players. "Right, this afternoon we're filming a cinematic sketch called Robbers. It's of the Repertory Players, but the others of you can hang around and watch." Chloe looked at Stacie. "Benji, Jesse and Bumper are robbing a bank; but they're awful at it. It's where the robbers actually leave a trail of comedy instead of terror."

Stacie's voice dropped to a whisper, "there is no way we aren't going, okay?"


End file.
